This is a topic that is dear to my heart. I know that many people struggle with the concept of selfishness. They feel that they can’t have time for themselves because it’s wrong to be selfish; and therefore, they find themselves feeling guilty about making the time to do things they enjoy or would dearly love to do.
I want you to consider this for a moment: What if you could be “selfish” in a good way? What if it’s about enabling you to be the best version of yourself? Reframing it that way puts a different spin on it altogether.
This new perspective helps you realize that it’s okay to pursue whatever it is that you wish to pursue. It could be something as simple as taking a few minutes out of your day for self-care; or maybe finally devoting time to start that new course you’ve been wanting to take.
For some other people, it could be that you want to get into a rhythm of regular exercise, you wish to start eating healthy, stop drinking, or whatever else it is. The key here is knowing that it’s actually okay to give yourself permission to do that – without always looking over your shoulders for what the world is saying.
As a matter of fact, when you become a better version of yourself, then it spills over to other people around you and helps you better relate with them. This is a win, win situation for everyone!
The thing is, most of us are naturally people-pleasers. We prefer to do things for others rather than ourselves. We even go as far as advising them that they should take care of themselves first before attending to others. But when it comes down to taking care of ourselves, we forget our own advice and it becomes a very different story.
This tendency is especially evident in women (men I know you do too). But for women, society and nature have made us in such a way that we spend so much time nurturing and taking care of others – while paying little attention to ourselves. We forget that nurturing ourselves is of the utmost importance; and the only person that can do that is yourself.
Take a moment and think: “What is it that you would like to do?” I understand that this may be an entirely new concept for you; so, don’t push it too hard. Instead, just take a few minutes for yourself each day and start with little baby steps. Over time, you’ll come to see that it’s achievable.
You may have a desire to entirely change something in your life; but if you don’t start to pay attention to your own self-care, then it’s easy to become resentful of other people’s lives, what they are achieving and what they’re doing.
Some people actually find it easy to take time out for themselves, it’s second nature to them. Now, I’m not talking about the selfishness that is all about a “me, me, me” attitude. Instead, I’m talking about being selfish in a way that nurtures your soul and enables you to be the person that you truly are, which often becomes hidden when you don’t pay attention to yourself.
By going back to soul level, we know what we’re crying out for. Today, our lives have gotten so busy that we don’t listen to ourselves anymore.
Therefore, it’s more important now than ever before to go back and be ‘in-tune’ with yourself. Start taking those small baby steps today. It’s all that is needed to get you there. Your soul will be so grateful for it and so will others around you.
Working to become a better version of you does not mean there’s anything wrong with how you are right now. It simply means that by nurturing yourself, you’ll feel healthier and more vibrant; in the complete knowledge that you’re getting everything you need and thereby living fulfilled in each moment. This is very important for your own growth and development.
Take the time now to ask that question one more time: “What is it that I want to do for me?” Knowing that you can – and with no guilt attached; now go ahead and give yourself the permission to grow.
Nobody can give you that, cos nobody knows you like you know you!!
Enjoy living a beautiful life.
Rosalind.
